Thursday, January 06, 2005

Subjunctive Guessing

After failing Chemistry and Statistics, I had to re-evaluate my scholastic choices. I had considered English, but a semester of Chaucer and a semester of Shakespeare did nothing to stimulate my interest. Instead, I opted for Sociology, just one step above Liberal Arts in the now-you-are-qualified-to-wait-tables category of higher education.

In spite of this decision, I have still maintained my love for grammar and sentence construction. Spelling is not among my strengths. Thank goodness for SpellChecker, even though it doesn't always work. Inasmuch, when I see blatant grammatical errors, I shake my head and give into the temptation to correct those errors.

"I could care less." Most people think this is a statement about how little they are concerned about a particular issue. Actually, the statement implies that it would be possible to care less, meaning you do, in fact, care. The proper usage would be "I couldn't care less." meaning you are already at the bottom of the caring barrel.

"He has a better car than me." No, actually, "He has a better car than I." The second part of the sentence is understood and therefore acceptable to leave out of the conversation. The whole thought is "He has a better car than I have." Including the second portion of the sentence clearly indicates "I" is the proper pronoun. It would be erroroneous to say, "He has a better car than me have." However, I'm certain a few Neanderthals would choose to speak in such a manner.

Subjunctive Tense. This is the surreal tense of a language. It indicates the "what if" factor and identifies the hypothetical. What if it were to rain today? The hypothetical aspect allows for the improper usage of the subject "it" with the verb tense "were". It a certainty, it is incorrect to say, "It were my job to rake the leaves."

By studying a foreign language, I have learned the grammar of my own language much better than attending high school English class. All that poetry reading has done little to improve my ability to communicate either by the written word or by the spoken word. I have yet to use "Tiger, tiger, burning bright" in day to day conversations. Additionally, I rarely have cause to discuss the finer qualities of Grecian pottery. That in itself precludes the need to recite Ode to a Grecian Urn. Now, math class did lend itself into my study of language in that I have wandered off on a tangent (not a cotangent or sine or even a cosine).

The reference books regarding the finer points of the English language usually have an example of the proper use of the subjunctive tense. One of the most frequent examples of subjunctive is the If I were you...
That's all fine and dandy when speaking of an activity. My latest English grammar text also uses If she were to go, there might be trouble.

I'm hoping the readers of this blog, namely Ken Wheaton especially, will be able to assist me in the follow conundrum. What pronoun is proper when the sentence, instead of using if I were you... uses a she or a he? Which is proper? If I were her... or If I were she... As I have been unable to find a reference book which specifies this particular situation, I have simply avoided the problem. I stick with If I were Johnny... and eliminate the pronoun completely.

The second grammar issue that gets under my skin is the Guess What.

As guess is a verb and the subject is the understood you, the sentence Guess what should be a statement or a command, thereby ending in a period. Unfortunately, every children's book I have ever read (and that's a vast amount) uses Guess what as a question ending with a question mark. Guess what?

If someone were (hypothetical usage of the subjunctive tense) to say Guess what, the response to that is usually, What? Questions are normally answered by a statement, not another question. Statements directing someone to do something may generate a question to clarify. For example, Joe says, "Tell me something." Timmy asks, "What?"
Isn't that basically what Guess what is saying? Tell me something.

What, by itself is a question. What? What do you want? What is that giant black thing crawling on your shoulder? Even if a possible ending is added, for example, Guess what I did today at school, it is still a command. You tell me what I did today at school. That is definitely not a question. It would sound ridiculous to make it a question. You tell me what I did today at school? Clearly Guess what is deserving of a period. Why do my editors continue to place a question mark at the end of my dialogue when I use a period? Huh? Why, Ken why?





15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I struggle with written grammar all the time. I'm a spelling whiz, but I know I have to work on grammar. I've taken several university courses regarding this, but I still need an editor when I do my formal writing.

Thanks for the tips - I'm going to print this post off and keep it by my desk at work and at home.

Scully
blackleyj@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Now I am going to be completely paranoid when speaking to you.....I hope that sentence is correct. Haha! Samantha

Dead Serious said...

Thank you four yur instruktion. Me am so greatful!

Dead Serious said...

My first thoughts are:

a) Since subjective case pronouns are used after the linking verbs is, are, was, and were, I would speculate that you should say: "If I were he..." or "If I were she..." It sounds odd, I know, but it also sounds funny used in other correct ways.

"I was surprised to find out that the murderer was he."

I usually advise people to rewrite the sentence if it bothers them.

"I was surprised to find out the he was the murderer."

b) I'm less sure about this one, but I would venture a guess that "Guess what" leaves not only the subject out, but also the actual beginning of the question.

[can you] Guess what?
[will you] Guess what?

That doesn't seem that unusual to me with a you (understood) sentence. For example, take the same sentence, but punctuate it differently:

Dance with me.

Here, you are giving a polite command. [I want you to] Dance with me.

Dance with me?

Here, it seems much more of a request. [Would you like to] Dance with me?

If you'd like I can do a little more research on these. I'm not Ken, but I'm sure he will vouch for my grammar credentials.

Dead Serious said...

Ooops! That should be:

"I was surprised to find out that he was the murderer."

I was lost in thought, and failed to proofread.

Dead Serious said...

I did a little searching and found the following on a grammar site. Afterwards, I'll tell you why I believe it's incorrect.

Question (from a film-subtitling company in Los Angeles): A friendly dispute has arisen at work: I contend that the phrase "Guess what" is a command and thus requires a period. My colleagues insist it is a question.

Answer: Who are these people? I didn't think Californians ever insisted on anything. I thought they just "leaned weakly toward the possibility that . . ."

At any rate, you will be gratified (but not surprised) to hear that you are right, and they are wrong, wrong, wrong--or at least tilting in the wrong direction. "Guess what" is an imperative, which is conventionally punctuated with a period, not with a question mark.

This, of course, will not satisfy the insisters, who are likely to suspect that you have hired a grammatical ringer. To convince them of the error of their ways, you will have to toss them an analytical bone.

Here's the rest of the story:

Imperative sentences in English are conventionally punctuated with a period, not with a question mark, but this, of course, begs the question whether this is an imperative sentence at all. Many seeming imperatives are actually simply colloquially short ened versions of interrogatives. Let's compare two sentences that seem to be similar:

Know what(./?)

Guess what(./?)

The deep structure of "Know what" can be expanded to "Do you know what?" and "Do you know what?" is clearly a question. Furthermore, "Know what" could never logically be an imperative, since you can't command someone to know something.

"Guess what," of course, is different. You can clearly command someone to guess something, whether or not they choose to comply. And though "Guess what" could perhaps be expanded to "Can you guess what?" the inflectional pattern suggests that that's no t what's going on at all.

Let's compare the inflectional patterns. "Know what" starts low and rises. This is what questions do. "Guess what" starts in the middle and stays there. This is what commands do.

This should be enough to cause your colleagues to lean weakly to the view that you could possibly be right in this particular case, though there may be extenuating circumstances that will cause them to alter their views in the future. This is as good a s it gets in the grammar business.
Okay, this author brings up the possibility, as I did, that "Guess what" is a shortened interrogative, but then dismisses it purely on the grounds that the inflectional pattern doesn't start low and rise as questions do. I think that's a hasty decision. There are lots of everyday questions that don't end in a high inflection.

"What did you learn in school today?"

"Where do you think you're going?" (Granted, this one rises at 'you're,' but it drops again.)

how about:

"Who cares?" (This is certainly a question, but has the same flat inflection as "Guess what" or possibly even a falling inflection.)

Ultimately, I think that "Guess what" is a shortened interrogative, and that inflection (as used here) is a poor reason to reject that. Inflection deals with expression; grammar deals with construction.

I will also say that the rules of grammar are very flexible. (If you've read any reference books on the subject, you know what I mean.) Perhaps your editors are following a particular style manual.

RahX said...

School sucks.

Dead Serious said...

Looks like I was right about "a)" as well.

In the subjunctive mood the plural form were should be used with a singular subject; as, "If I were," not was. Remember the plural form of the personal pronoun you always takes were, though it may denote but one. Thus, "You were," never "you was." "If I was him" is a very common expression. Note the two mistakes in it,—that of the verb implying a condition, and that of the objective case of the pronoun. It should read If I were he. This is another illustration of the rule regarding the verb To Be, taking the same case after it as before it; were is part of the verb To Be, therefore as the nominative (I) goes before it, the nominative (he) should come after it.Occasionally, there are a few out there who make the argument that since people more often tend to say "If I were him" (or some other such grammar error), that the rule means nothing, and should be forgotten. This seems to me to be a particularly idiotic argument. It's like saying that since most people don't change the oil in their cars at the proper intervals, manufacturers should change their recommendations for changing oil. In other cases, sure--the rules could use some adjustment. Take, for example, ending a sentence with a preposition. Grammar is meant to help the communication process, but sometimes reconstructing a sentence so that it does not end in a preposition makes for a much more confusing sentence. Think of the phrase attributed to Churchill:

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put!

Kelly Hanson said...

Dead, I really appreciate all of your input. You have solved grammar riddles. Excellent. Now for another one...When saying I did something in the past is it proper to say I used to or I use to? Hmmmm. I know it would be better to say In the past I mowed the lawn every Saturday rather than I used to (use to) mow the lawn every Saturday, but still the question persists.

Dead Serious said...

Again, off the top of my head, I would say "I used to..."

The exception would be after the words "did" or "didn't."

"Didn't you use to be a blonde?"
"She used to be a blonde."

"Did you use to date my ex?"
"I used to date his ex."

I'm not 100% on that one. I thought I was at the beginning, but you know how it is with these things--the more you look at them, the more you second guess yourself.

Anonymous said...

Kelly:

I need a new post.

Scully

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