Tuesday, January 18, 2005

The Beginning of the End

The year of Operation Iraqi Freedom II is rapidly coming to an end. Our little community is beginning to see advanced party redeployment of soldiers. We are also beginning to see spouses returning from the states. Now that the soldiers are scheduled to come, those folks who couldn't make it on there own are returning to their homes from having been being taken care of by relatives.

Our community is also seeing lots of pregnant women who weren't that way when their husbands left. That sure will make for an interesting Welcome Home surprise. But, it's not just the wives who have found love outside their marriages. Several wives have received "Dear John" letters from their soldier husbands downrange. It seems that some female soldiers have been keeping some male soldiers warm at night. I guess bunkers must get lonely.

Personally, the whole situation is mingboggling. Do these people really think that their marriages will be better off for having violated the sanctity and trust of a marriage? What's even more amazing to me is that they were tempted in the first place.

I love my most amazing husband more than anything. He was deployed in February 2003 for Operation Iraqi Freedom I. He redeployed long enough to pack up our household, move to another post and prepare to deploy again for Operation Iraqi Freedom II in February 2004. He's been gone for most of our three year tour.

And yet, everything I do, I do with him in mind. Okay, maybe not everything. When I'm scrambling eggs or picking up dog poop in the yard, I'm not thinking about him. I'm thinking this sucks and that goes for both cooking and picking up poop. But every television show I watch, every time I think about a new piece of lingerie, every time I sign onto the computer, every time I walk the dogs, every night when I go to bed, every time I change my sheets, every time I check my mail, every time I purchased a new pair of shoes, and every miserable minute I spend in the gym, I'm thinking about him. Not even for a split second have I ever had the notion to partake in extra-marital activities. How could a woman entertain the idea of a sexual liaison while her husband is dodging bullets and IEDs? If I try really, really, really hard, I maybe can see how a male soldier might be interested in a fling downrange, but to send a "Dear John" letter home. What's that? Throw away a marriage and betray the person you love because you were too weak a person to stand up with morals for a year. That's just too ridiculous.

Actually, considering soldiers were able to receive a minimum of 14 days for R&R, spouses didn't have to be separated for an entire year. I had to wait just over 8 months to visit with my most wonderful husband. Is eight months too long to wait for a life time of happiness? Apparently for some people it is. The bigger picture is 8 months within a 30 to 40 year marriage is a blink of an eye. Could a romp in a stranger's bed or a romp on a cot in a tent really be worth it? I don't think so.

Honey....I hope you are reading this..... :)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't have said it better myself!!! But I must argue the part about you having the most wonderful husband ever because I DO!!! Samantha

Anonymous said...

WWII separated my paternal grandparents for five years. My grandfather came home from Europe and met his son for the first time, my father, when my father was almost five years old.

I don't know if my Grandmother stayed faithful - I've never thought to ask her. And I suspect my Grandfather may not have done so - but I get the sense that they both did because the marriage was going strong until his death in 1996. There were bumps along the way (my grandfather experienced many terrible things) and three more children and different posts all across Canada as he continued his career in the Cdn Army, but I always think of my grandmother, and how she was an immigrant (from Ireland), met my grandfather, got pregnant, got married, and put him on a ship for England and she didn't know if she'd ever see him again. She lived in Montreal, she didn't speak French, she had my grandfather's extended and insane family, and she did it by herself and she told me she knew he'd come home.

And my grandfather was never allowed R&R back to Canada in all those years.

So, I agree with you. Whether it's serving in the military, or having to travel a lot for business, or being separated due to other reasons, exactly how hard is it to be faithful? I can imagine at times there are temptations. But it's always wonderful to come out ahead after a temptation. Whether it be cheating on a diet or cheating on a spouse.

I'm glad things are going well for you. I could never do it. And to take care of the children as well in a foreign country.

You are amazing!

Scully
blackleyj@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

That was written so beautifully. You're BEST yet.

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with your husband and your family with the upcoming elections in Iraq on Sunday, may God bless and keep all of our soldiers safe.