Friday, September 24, 2004

Adventures of the Week and More to Come

Phew! It has been an eventful week. Firstly, Spud, the Spudinator, the Spudster, Spudoram, Spud Man, went home to his momma. He was sure glad to see her, but I suspect he'll miss having my three pups around to play with.

The elementary school called me to work three days this week. One whole day of First Grade, one whole day of Fifth Grade and a half day of First Grade. Plus, I'm on schedule for a half day next Monday for First Grade and a whole day next Tuesday for PE. I can't say PE is my favorite class to sub for. I didn't like it when I was in school and the thought of monitoring small children while they run and scream for 45 minutes each class isn't appealing. Maybe I should have them play dodge ball. Maybe I should participate. Boy, that would be fun. Slamming seven year olds with playground balls. It would sure teach them a thing or two. Imagine what they would think if I showed up to sub in their regular class.

Oh, but I digress. The children actually love it when I substitute. I always bring a bag of treats. Children who finish their work and have done it correctly get a prize, as do the winners of a game of Simon Says. I, naturally, am always Simon. It's fun and the kids enjoy playing, except when they loose. I have to explain every time we play that someone has to loose and someone has to win. If they want to win, they need to pay more attention. Just so you know, I don't make it easy. They really do have to pay attention and not always just copy what I do. I trick them all the time. I'll say Simon Says hand on hips, but instead of putting my hands on my hips, I'll put them on my shoulders. The children who just mirror what I do end up out of the game. Only the ones who listen to the instructions manage to hang on just a bit longer.

The other thing I really enjoy doing when I sub is reading stories out loud. My friend, Amber, my afternoon work-out partner, is a First Grade teacher at the same school where I substitute. She has two terrific books that I love to borrow to read to the class. Edward that Emu and Edwina the Emu. Great stories with fabulous pictures. I was so inspired by the books, that I opted to write a rhyming story myself.

I enrolled in a writing course focusing on literature for children nearly two years ago. The course is a two year correspondence course. I only have one more assignment left before I complete the course. That assignment is to write a children's book using all the techniques learned over the last two years. Believe me, I have learned a tremendous amount. I have been so pleased with the course, that I enrolled in the second course for writing for adults. I am very excited about that program. Anyway, I think I'll submit my rhyming story about Lancelot the Lizard as my assignment number 10. I really like the story. I had Amber read it and she enjoyed it as well. That makes me feel pretty good about it because not only does she teach Frist Grade, but she also specializes in literacy.

Also this week, I met with a great doctor who put me on some great medication. I have to say that I haven't felt this good since.....never. I should have done this long, long ago. No more anxiety, no more racing thoughts, no more freaking out for no reason. Life really is wonderful.

To make my situation even better, my husband, the most wonderful man on the planet, is coming home in approximately four days. I can't wait. I have not seen him since February 3, 2004. He's been off in the desert being all he can be. This is his second deployment to Iraq and I have to say that it's been two too many. His R&R is only for 15 days and then he has to go back. That will definitely be a sad day, but I'm not going to think about that while he's home. I'm going to enjoy his company and get my groove back, if you know what I mean.

In preparation for his homecoming, I have washed my sheets, cleaned the house about a thousand times, done laundary, bought groceries, and made a welcome home sign. My heart has been so lonely without him. Luckily, he'll make it home just in time to catch the last weekend of Oktoberfest.

We went to Oktoberfest two years ago. We decided since we were in Germany, we simply had to drink beer in the biggest beer drinking event. Everybody has heard of Oktoberfest. It's a three week beer drinking celebration and a good time is had by all. Funny thing, it's in September. Go figure. Anyway, we are planning on going for the last weekend, October 2, and taking our children. This will be the last opportunity we have to do the Munich trip while living in Germany and we want to expose our children to as much culture as possible.

After Oktoberfest, we are leaving our children in the safe and capable hands of our neighbor while we go off galavanting in Garmisch. Two wonderfully peaceful days of no children, no responsibilities and nothing to do but lay in the bed naked. Sounds GREAT!

Then after that, I have planned to visit Kiss Salis. It's the largest spa in all of Germany. If there is one thing the Germans know how to do (other than drink beer) it's doing the spa treatment. Kiss Salis is AMAZING and believe it or not, the cost is quite reasonable. My mother and I spent five days there and hand every skin treatment they offered. What would have cost nearly $7,000 in the states cost right around $1,000 here. It was cheaper for my mother to buy a plane ticket, fly halfway around the world and spa in Germany than it was for her to spa in her own coutry. If I ever get around to it, I plan on writing an article about the place and the feature comforts offered. Any suggestions as to where I should submit the article for publication? I'd like to break in to Oprah's magazine. I haven't been able to find a Travel and Leisure magazine. Is it still in publication?

Please don't expect any blog news during R&R. I want to spend every possible moment with my amazing husband that I possibly can. The past eight months have been tremendously long. I suspect I'm going to need a vacation from this vacation.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Too cold for comfort

As I have three dogs that require grooming, I invested in a set of clippers. I figure that at $20 to $30 per dog for a grooming every 6+ weeks, it was cost effective for me just to do it myself. Actually, I'd been grooming Sydney her whole life. I would sit on the floor and shave away.

Things became much more involved when Kirby and I started dating. Jake has absolutely no desire to get a hair cut and Annabelle trembles uncontrollably. Being that my husband is the greatest man in the universe, he bought me a grooming table for my birthday three years ago. (Just so happens that was the last time he was home for my birthday. He's been deployed being all he can be ever since)

The table made everything much, much easier. The dogs still react to grooming the same way, but now, with the table, I have more control.

Well, last night I pulled out the table and clippers. Jake disappeared. Annabelle quickly followed suit. Sydney has given up. She knows resistence is futile. Well, Spud, the Pyscho dog, apparently has never seen a groom table, and why should he? He has short hair with no need for clipping. He went nuts; barking and running around like he was a crazy dog. That only stirred up the anxiety for the two hiding.

Finally, I was able to finish shaving all of my dogs inspite of Spud's protests. Well, they sure look cute with their new haircuts. Unfortunately, they get cold. The weather is changing and it has been chilly at night. Because I sleep with all my windows open, my room gets cold during the night.

Typically, Sydney sleeps on my bed. Sometimes she crawls under the covers, but she doesn't stay there very long because she gets too hot. Then, she'll move to the pillows and claim them all (I have 8 on the bed) for herself. If she's feeling charitable, she'll share one with me.

Jake will begin the evening on the bed, but eventually jumps down to sleep on his big dog pillow. The doesn't like being cramped not touched while he sleeps.

Annabelle would love to sleep on the bed, but she can't jump that high. Remember, she has little legs and she lives in the world 6 inches off the floor. Sometimes, when she looks at me with those big brown eyes and asks ever so politely, I'll pick her up. She loves the bed. She plops down in a spot and does not move for the rest of the night. Let me tell you, she is one solid dog. For 27 pounds, she is 100 pounds of dead weight.

Spud, well, he demands to be under the covers. He does not share the bed very well. We've had to have some heart to heart discussions about his poor sharing skills. He is just plain nasty when is comes to having his space invaded while sleeping.

Anyway, it got cold last night. Sydney never left my side. She was snuggled up into a ball and curled up next to me. Spud slept in the crook of my legs just behind my knees. Jake spent longer than usual on the bed. He eventually jumped down and curled up with Annabelle.

I have to admit, I slept pretty good last night. Happiness is a bed full of snuggly pups.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

My Fellow Americans

I just received this speech via email. I thought it appropriate so I forwarded it to the White House.

My Fellow Americans:

As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. You, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites
where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty ---starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in
English, thank a soldier.

Psycho Dog

For those of you who have been keeping up to date, I am puppy-sitting a Boston Terrier for a friend while she's on vacation. Her dog, Spud, is just as spoiled as my three dogs, and that is saying alot.

Just by happen-stance, I found out Spud is very tennis ball motivated. I do mean VERY MOTIVATED. The other day, my son suggested we all go to the tennis courts to hit some balls back and forth. Good idea. So, we all went; my son, my daugher, my three pups and Spud. Now, Jake (the westie) gets excited when others are excited and Sydney (the schnauzer) couldn't care less about chasing balls. She was perfectly content to sniff around the fence and keep a look-out for squirrels. Annabelle (the scottie) does love chasing balls and tennis balls are more interesting than regular playground balls. Tennis balls have fuzz that must be ripped off at all costs. Little bits of electric green fuzz get stuck in between her front teeth and she looks, well, silly. But, Spud, he is obsessed with the tennis ball.

For two hours, he ran and chased and sprinted and retrieved and begged for that tennis ball. Even when he had one in his mouth, he still needed to chase after the one being hit back and forth. Whenever one of us missed a hit, he was there. Tennis turned into an energetic game of keep-away.

Together, my three pups and Spud, drank 1/2 liter of water during the rare rest. Okay, it was mostly Annabelle and Spud who drank the water. After about 1 hour and 45 minutes, Spud started to slow down. He was so exhausted that a lone tennis ball rolling gently past him received a mere longing look. I really didn't think the poor guy was going to be able to walk the three blocks home. He was pooped.

On the short walk home, Spud needed to take a break. He stood still, panting. I think he would have collapsed right then, if I had not forced him to keep going. By the time we reached home (a 3 minute walk that took nearly 10 with 4 pooped pups), Spud crashed. He sprawled out on his belly allowing for maximum skin contact with the hardwood floors.

Too tired to even drink more water, Spud passed on eating his dinner. He normally eats sometime between 5:30 and 6:30. It was nearly 8:00 by the time he raised his his head high enough to eat. Immediately following his meal, Spud went to bed.

He snuggled down under the covers in the bed and didn't move until 10:30 the next morning. Wow.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Finding my inner peace

Some days there is just too much stress and anxiety to deal with. I have reached a point where I can't calm down. I have racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts, and uncontrollable energy. One would think it's a good thing to have too much energy. I've actually been told "Man, I wish I had your energy." Be careful what you wish for.

I have experienced a tremendous amount in my time, and not all of it good. There is more than one chapter in the story of my life that is brutal and horrific. I have survived and am a stronger person for having done so. I think what helped me get through some of the tougher times was a grasp on my inner silence. Over time, that silence has dissipated somewhat and I am now searching for it again.

Frankly, my husband, the most wonderful man in the world, has been a strong source of quiet. He gives me the ability to fight the dragons that plague daily life. I can purge all the noise and be "home free" for a while before having to battle again. Now that he is gone fighting his own very real battles in Iraq, I don't have that support system.

So I use a technique for easing obsessive thoughts. I write them down and file them away. It does work. Trust me. I know. That's what this blog has become for me. An endless file cabinet for the noise in my head.

Once my thoughts are written down, I have some silence. It's a wonderful thing. The quiet is precious and I don't get enough of it. The children will be home from school soon and with them comes the noise. I need to find a way to withdraw in the chaos of a housefull of dogs and children and keep a block of peace for myself.
I'm open for suggestions.

Me feeding the geese in London

Tuesday, September 14, 2004


Happiness is a lap full of pups.

My husband Kirby, the greatest man I have ever met. I waited my whole life to marry this man.

The shopping experience in Sorrento, Italy. December, 2002

Worldly Fashions

After the horrible gym, work-out experience of burning muscles, sweat and simple misery, I went home and got ready to go into work. The best part about my job is that it's only on-call. I go in when somebody needs a day off. It's the same thing as substituting, which I also do.
Anyway, I got dressed. I stood in front of my full-length mirror and laughed. My outfit literally came from all over the world.

My boots were purchased during a vacation to Italy, specifically Sorrento. It's a lovely, quaint town south of Pompei. Very nice place. I would love to go back some day.

My skirt and jacket were from the States.

I bought the shirt in Schweinfurt, Germany.

The charm on my necklace came from Rhodes, Greece. It's a seashell called the Eye of the Sea. The little creature that makes it is only found in the Aegean Sea. I absolutely love it.

My hair was held back by a hair clip that I bought in Paris, France, last fall while on vacation with my husband, who by the way is the most fabulous man ever to breath fresh air.

It was an outfit made of miles of traveling and great memories. Believe it or not, it was a very simple outfit. Black boots, short black skirt, black shirt, a long red and black light weight jacket, a silver necklace with seashell and a barrette.

My neighbor, over the past weekend, mentioned to me a princess party she had taken her little girls to last summer. All the guests were to have dressed up in their fanciest dresses and be princesses for the day. Well, living in Germany does have its advantages. The young ladies were so curious about where each of them had found their dresses. One little girl commented that she got hers in Paris. Another princess got hers during a trip to Italy. Several guests had made their princess dress purchases in Germany. Military kids are so lucky. They get to travel around the world and experience things that people dream about and wait their whole lives to see and do.

I am fortunate enough to have been able to experience Europe as a teenager and again as an adult. Right now, I would love to have my husband home so he could reap the rewards of living in Germany. As he has spent most of this tour in Iraq, he has missed out on many adventures. Naturally, he has endured his own adventures, but those, I doubt, would be cronicled in a travel book.

Monday, September 13, 2004

These Damn Pants Won't Fit

So, the struggle continues as the pile of the too small clothes grows. It's beginning to be quite bothersome. This pile has forced me to get back to the gym. As everyone knows misery loves company, I prefer going with a friend. My friend, Samantha, is my morning work-out partner. Last week, she forced me to do butt blaster and lunges. Naturally, by the next morning, I couldn't walk. It's been five days and my behind is still a tad on the tender side. Tomorrow is another day for the posterior. This whole work-out thing really bites.

My other work-out partner, Amber, is settling into her new job (1st grade teacher) and is post-poning the visits to the gym. I have no problem with that because the longer she takes to get motivated the longer I can dely the days of the double work-out. Amber prefers gym time in the evening.

I figure between both of them, I'll spend the majority of my day as a sweaty mess in gym clothes. It simply must be done. I can't stand the notion of not being able to wear all those cute clothes that I worked so hard to get in.