Do Not Read Beauty Magazines, They Only Make You Feel Ugly

Remember the article that was morphed into a commencement speech and then into a song, Wear Sunscreen? Of all the fabulous advice mentioned therein, a profound statement was Do Not Read Beauty Magazines, They Will Only Make You Feel Ugly. It is so true.

While working out at the gym, I do read magazines while suffering on the exer-bike. I find it to be a must as it takes my mind off of the agony. I will admit the magazine selection in my gym is a bit behind the times, but not nearly as bad as most doctors' and dentists' waiting rooms. But that is beside the point. The one I read recently (okay yesterday) really got under my skin. So much so, that as one who doesn't write to newspaper editors and/or magazine editors, I was compelled to voice my opinion to not only the editor and all the readers of that particular magazine, but also to the internet.

The particular magazine which motivated me to express my disapproval just so happens to be my favorite beauty magazine, GLAMOUR. Okay, the issue (May 2003) focused on the importance of loving oneself, regardless of age, weight or quality of skin. Page after page was dedicated to women without killer supermodel bodies and how real men love real women's bumps, lumps and curves. One page proclaimed it was time to worship the female form, complete with a picture of Rubens' The Three Graces immortalizing the voluptuous shape of his wife. A 2002 Serena Williams "This Body Rocks", the pin-up girl of 1942, Betty Grable "The hottest shape of the day" and a 2002 Kate Winslett "Great at any weight" appeared on this page.
A four-page spread highlighting curvacious women like Jennifer Lopez, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Queen Latifa, Beyonce and Catherine Zeta-Jones celebrated healthy women with ample feminine shape. Immediately following that more-woman-to-love, body-confidence feature, six pages of freckled-face girls reminded readers that beauty isn't defined by perfect monotone, porcelain, china-white skin.

Now anyone who has read my blog knows I am extremely body-image conscious, borderline obsessed with my appearance. It would be perfectly reasonable for me to delight and rejoice in this real-women-have-hips-and-breats issue of my favorite beauty magazine. Unfortunately, it was the intermitent fashion spread of ultra-thin, Ethiopianesque, flawless skin women showing of "Body-Proud" beach bodies in teeny-weeny bikinis that wouldn't even cover my butt crack much less one of Queen Latifa's breasts, that riled me so. Right after the four pages of beautiful plump women and the six pages of freckles, one could read all about "Suits You Fine!" complete with six pages of eight photographs of a woman so skinny that she gives new meaning to rail-thin. What kind of message is that?

The Message from the Editor asked, "Are we loving our bodies yet?" How can we when Polo Jeans Co. features a beautiful fat-roll free brunette with blemish-free skin? The Botox Cosmetic advertisement encourages dramatically reducing those age lines that are wonderously admired by a husband in his article "33 years of Loving my Wife's Body". Throw in Loreal, Revlon, CoverGirl, Jockey, Redken, Dior, Paul Mitchel, Proactiv, Citizen, Matrix, Kenneth Cole, Elizabeth Arden, Ralph Lauren, and of course Victoria's Secret and it's not difficult to see why women are so mixed up about what's considered beautiful.

If the women portrayed in the advertisements are the definition of beauty, then there is simply no way I will ever be considered beautiful. I guess it's a good thing I went to college and received an education. I certainly would never be able to make it on my "good" looks.

I do have to mention the advertisers peddling their wares using "real" people. GAP showed women of color and full cheeks enjoying summer tunics. Dockers Eyewear featured red hair and freckles, full cheeks and dark skin behind sunglasses. Biore came close. Their advertisement, although using a model without zits or blackheads to sell their cleanser, did distort her image to illustrate a "real" search for clogged pores. It's a shame that I can only physically relate to those women running fresh and free on the beach after using Midol. In addition to Midol, I can be comfortable inside my own skin while using Playtex Gentle Glide tampons.

If only I could learn from other peoples' experiences. I would never experience a sun burn, argue with my siblings, or read beauty magazines. Perhaps, reading biographies about charismatic people would be a more inspiring and empowering exer-bike read. That way I would be ensured to come home feeling energized and confident instead of fat and ugly.