Never Can Have Too Many Shoes

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I admit it. I am a shoe junky.

I first began to suspect my fascination with shoes when I was a senior in high school. There was a store called The Wild Pair in the mall where I worked. I frequently visited the store but never bought. My mother would have had a heart attack had I worn some of those shoes home. That, and I always thought I was too fat to wear stilettos. I mean seriously, the whole point of stilettos is to make your leg appear long and lean. When your legs are fat, round and calves blend into ankles resulting in Cankels, no stiletto in the world will slim that mess down. Besides, balancing a large body on such a tiny stem is just plain dangerous.

There are certain shoes that a 16 year old girl should not wear regardless of how fat she is. Thigh-high patent leather boots and/or pumps with ankle straps are women who can at least gain access to establishments where that kind of footwear is accepted.

Now that I am older and slimmer (it's still a major issue for me) I can wear "those" shoes. Over this past summer, while in England, I bought a pair of thigh-high patent leather boots. I took a risque picture and sent it to my husband. He liked it and that was worth the price of admission. I even managed an excuse to wear them on one other occasion; Halloween. (see previous photo) Granted, thigh-high leather boots are not going to the movies shoes, but I'd love to try it. Of course, I'd need the super short skirt to go with them. Now my concern is that I am too old to pull off that look. Matronly women don't do micro-mini skirts and thigh-high boots.

My fascination with shoes has grown into an addiction over the past two years. There is a shoe store here in Germany called Deichman's. It is the Mecca of shoes. Whenever I enter that store, I hear harps and a choir sing. I also love that it's a self-serve place. No need to have an employee run back and forth to the store room. I can shop like a crazy woman. The very first thing I do is take off my shoes. I don't want to waste time putting on and taking off my shoes. Too many precious gems to try on.

They have ankle bootlets, pumps, strappy pumps, ankle strap pumps, mid-calf boots, knee-high boots, hitching boots, comfortable boots, fashionable boots, sandals, rhinestone encrusted party shoes, stilettos, shoes with buckles, shoes with steel heels, slippers and even the matching bag for most of the shoes. Being that I'm in Europe, the shoes are about 6 months to a year ahead of stateside fashion. Those "bowling" shoes were here long before they became popular in the states.

Deichman has a fabulous selection and the prices are affordable. That probably has been the single most factor to my addiction. With each new pair of shoes, there are 5 more just waiting to come home with me. I'd feel guilty buying 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 pair at a time, so I generally stick to just one pair about once a month. Just because I'm not buying all the shoes I'd like, doesn't mean I'm not trying on every single pair in the store. The store clerks have rolled their eyes at me more than once. I guess it's a good thing that my German isn't very good, else I'd be able to understand them when they comment on the crazy American woman acting like she's never seen a pair of shoes before. --Oh Great Shoe PooBah, I am your humble servant.--

As the Christmas shopping season is over and it's now time to rejoice and celebrate in the after Christmas clearance sales, my co-worker suggested I go to the Victoria's Secret website and check out the shoe sales. Oh my. That's like dangling a popsicle in front of a 5-year old on a hot summer day. There were three strappy stilettos that caught my attention. But which one to get? I have to limit myself to just one. Which one? Which One? Which ONE?

Just then a soldier walks into the office. Who better to ask for an opinion than a man? A female- companion starved soldier who's been in Iraq for the last 10 months to boot.


When asked, he said he needed a closer look to be able to tell if the shoes were good.

What did he mean? A closer look?

"If you look at them and say, 'they're okay' those aren't good. If you look at them and say, 'Yeah Buddy!' or 'Hellllllooooo' then they're a good pair."

He agreed, but needed to check out the buckle situation.

Guess which pair he picked.........Pair #2. He said with a grin.

And that's all she needed to make a decision.

As he left the office, he said, "Looks like somebody lucky is going to be enjoying those shoes."

He's right. My most wonderful, amazing husband. He'll get to enjoy all of the shoes that have found a new home in my closet while he's been gone.