A Haunting I Will Go

Yesterday, while shoveling horse poop, the topic of after death came up. The idea of reversal was mentioned. Basically, if you are fat in life, you will be thin in the after life. Size 6 women will end up being size 36. That's my idea of Karma.

I have a few thoughts of my own on the matter.

Okay, in TV shows, movies and documentaries, ghosts are portrayed as "romantic". The forlorn woman wears a long flowing white dress. Her hair blows in the wind and she appears graceful. The ghosts from the mid 1800's wear attire of the era as do ghosts from the Middle Ages. Soldier ghosts are portrayed wearing military garb. Even the Headless Horseman had a long black cloak.
So, what happens if you died naked? Is your ghost doomed to walk this realm in its birthday suit? What happens if you are wearing torn jeans, a mustard stained T-Shirt and a flannel overshirt? Goodness knows it would suck if you were to die barefoot. Can you imagine the pedicure you would need after a 100 plus years of roaming your haunting area?

How about dying while wearing the most uncomfortable pair of shoes of all time? Nothing says agony like walking a mile in shoes that moonlight as bear traps. Perhaps that's why the forlorn woman doesn't go into the light. She's hunting for the jackass who designed those killer shoes.

Ghosts are generally reported to appear as they were when they died. Okay, what if I die and had a BIG FAT zit on the tip of my nose at the time of my departure? Am I forever to be the poster child for Oxy Cleansing Pads and acne medicines? What if I'm having a really bad hair day. A big zit and bad hair...frankly, that just sucks.

As I fully intend on hanging around after I die (mostly for payback to those who have caused me grief; a little poltergeist action sounds like good even-up time to me) I suppose I must prepare for my "Dying Attire". Hmmmm, what to wear, what to wear?