Yesterday, while shoveling horse poop, the topic of after death came up. The idea of reversal was mentioned. Basically, if you are fat in life, you will be thin in the after life. Size 6 women will end up being size 36. That's my idea of Karma.
I have a few thoughts of my own on the matter.
Okay, in TV shows, movies and documentaries, ghosts are portrayed as "romantic". The forlorn woman wears a long flowing white dress. Her hair blows in the wind and she appears graceful. The ghosts from the mid 1800's wear attire of the era as do ghosts from the Middle Ages. Soldier ghosts are portrayed wearing military garb. Even the Headless Horseman had a long black cloak.
So, what happens if you died naked? Is your ghost doomed to walk this realm in its birthday suit? What happens if you are wearing torn jeans, a mustard stained T-Shirt and a flannel overshirt? Goodness knows it would suck if you were to die barefoot. Can you imagine the pedicure you would need after a 100 plus years of roaming your haunting area?
How about dying while wearing the most uncomfortable pair of shoes of all time? Nothing says agony like walking a mile in shoes that moonlight as bear traps. Perhaps that's why the forlorn woman doesn't go into the light. She's hunting for the jackass who designed those killer shoes.
Ghosts are generally reported to appear as they were when they died. Okay, what if I die and had a BIG FAT zit on the tip of my nose at the time of my departure? Am I forever to be the poster child for Oxy Cleansing Pads and acne medicines? What if I'm having a really bad hair day. A big zit and bad hair...frankly, that just sucks.
As I fully intend on hanging around after I die (mostly for payback to those who have caused me grief; a little poltergeist action sounds like good even-up time to me) I suppose I must prepare for my "Dying Attire". Hmmmm, what to wear, what to wear?
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Another publication....unfortunately unpaid
After I returned to the United States from a three year absence, I was struck by all the changes to my "hometown." Althougth I only lived in Golden for a short while, I consider it to be my "hometown" simply because my family lives there. I wrote this article for the local internet news site.
"Return to Golden"
Although I was a short-time resident of Golden, I am still very much a friend and family to many people who consider this delightful city home. Golden will always be a special place because of its quaint, small town feel and the wonderful people who made it possible for me to meet my husband. That not-so-by-chance meeting and matrimonial bliss is what limited my residency in Golden as my military man soon received orders to move to Germany.
Just this past month, we returned to the United States after a three year absence. How things have changed. I never thought it possible to suffer "Culture Shock" simply by returning to my homeland, but I did. While in Germany, I had acclimated myself to hearing undiscernable conversations during daily outings. The spoken word, similar to Charlie Brown's teacher, blended into background noise and was dismissed. I didn't realize the effect of a foreign language until I returned home and picked-up English like pin-point radar zeroing on target. Hearing English spoke around me had been sorely missed and I discovered myself unintentionally eavesdropping into conversations. It is amazing what people talk about when they think nobody is listening. I could tell you things-but that's another story.
During my absence, my adopted home-town of Golden experienced many changes. I would expect that as a local resident, minor changes that occur over time may not seem dramatic, but the development of the city has been just that. Imaging leaving your house for work one morning only to return that evening to discover a decorating/renovating team had painted, landscaped and installed new carpet while you were gone. That's what it was like for me to drive down South Golden Road for the first time in three years.
The roundabout in front of King Sooper's sprouted to life. The 7-11 vanished and Dairy Queen went south of the border. Tequila's guacamole and "gigante" margarita's are a definite improvement over soft-serve ice cream.
Continuing into town, passing the last roundabout, I was delighted to the the statue of the mounted Indian. The vegetation, at the time of my arrival, left something to be desired, but by the end of my initial home-coming, the organic design crew made improvements that exceeded my expectations.
Further into town, I kept my fingers crossed in anticipation of the removal of the unsightly, abandoned convenience store near the bicycle shop and bowling alley. That corner of town has always been like biting into a crisp juicy apple ripened to perfection only to discover half a worm on the inside. Alas, the blemish on what is otherwise an aesthetically pleasing view, remains, much to my dismay. A smile returned when I noticed the evolution of the Muffler Man. No longer a space man, the cowboy fits much better with the theme of Buffalo Bill's final round-up.
Continued exploration of the changes in Golden likened itself to a treasure hunt. Each street corned a new surprise of wondrous gems. Of all the statues adorning main street, the miner and burro is my favorite. The artist really captured the joyous expression of the discovery of a golden nugget on both the miner and his companion. The cowboy on vacation statue near Clear Creek pays homage to the connection with nature and the abundant life in and around the creek. Then there is the bridge. Kudos to whomever decided to design a comfortable resting spot for travelers. I could spend hours sipping a cool beverage and watching the water flow downstream. During Buffalo Bill Days, it was the perfect location to witness hundreds of little yellow rubber duckies float by.
The walking foot trail under the bridge was too much to resist. It beckoned to me. I walked along that trail and delighted in the wondrous creations that weren't there three years ago. The huge fish, in my opinion, second only to the butterflies. As always, the benches aligned the trail are a welcome sight. It makes it easier for a visitor to just sit and smell the roses, well, more accurately, to sit and watch the world go by. I find it refreshing to watch the water and all those who find enjoyment in the creek. The kayaks are always fascinating to watch and happiness can be found in watching a dogs leap into the water having just as much super fun-time as it can stand.
The fire that destroyed part of the Buffalo Rose clearly had a beneficial impact in the downtown area. The beer garden is definitely the silver lining behind the cloud of smoke. Seeing the office/retail spaces filling up in the new buildings across the street from the downtown post office is refreshing. The western town of yester-year is vibrant and alive with modern day amenities and new construction, which blends well with the older buildings. To the casual observer, the growth and development of Golden has been carefully thought out and planned making it an even more desirable place to live. My return to my accepted home town of Golden, Colorado, was cut short by the demands of the United States Army. Now I am only a state away rather than a continent and look forward to my next visit. I can only imagine what tremendous ideas will have come to fruition.
Kelly Hanson
Part time Golden Resident.....
"Return to Golden"
Although I was a short-time resident of Golden, I am still very much a friend and family to many people who consider this delightful city home. Golden will always be a special place because of its quaint, small town feel and the wonderful people who made it possible for me to meet my husband. That not-so-by-chance meeting and matrimonial bliss is what limited my residency in Golden as my military man soon received orders to move to Germany.
Just this past month, we returned to the United States after a three year absence. How things have changed. I never thought it possible to suffer "Culture Shock" simply by returning to my homeland, but I did. While in Germany, I had acclimated myself to hearing undiscernable conversations during daily outings. The spoken word, similar to Charlie Brown's teacher, blended into background noise and was dismissed. I didn't realize the effect of a foreign language until I returned home and picked-up English like pin-point radar zeroing on target. Hearing English spoke around me had been sorely missed and I discovered myself unintentionally eavesdropping into conversations. It is amazing what people talk about when they think nobody is listening. I could tell you things-but that's another story.
During my absence, my adopted home-town of Golden experienced many changes. I would expect that as a local resident, minor changes that occur over time may not seem dramatic, but the development of the city has been just that. Imaging leaving your house for work one morning only to return that evening to discover a decorating/renovating team had painted, landscaped and installed new carpet while you were gone. That's what it was like for me to drive down South Golden Road for the first time in three years.
The roundabout in front of King Sooper's sprouted to life. The 7-11 vanished and Dairy Queen went south of the border. Tequila's guacamole and "gigante" margarita's are a definite improvement over soft-serve ice cream.
Continuing into town, passing the last roundabout, I was delighted to the the statue of the mounted Indian. The vegetation, at the time of my arrival, left something to be desired, but by the end of my initial home-coming, the organic design crew made improvements that exceeded my expectations.
Further into town, I kept my fingers crossed in anticipation of the removal of the unsightly, abandoned convenience store near the bicycle shop and bowling alley. That corner of town has always been like biting into a crisp juicy apple ripened to perfection only to discover half a worm on the inside. Alas, the blemish on what is otherwise an aesthetically pleasing view, remains, much to my dismay. A smile returned when I noticed the evolution of the Muffler Man. No longer a space man, the cowboy fits much better with the theme of Buffalo Bill's final round-up.
Continued exploration of the changes in Golden likened itself to a treasure hunt. Each street corned a new surprise of wondrous gems. Of all the statues adorning main street, the miner and burro is my favorite. The artist really captured the joyous expression of the discovery of a golden nugget on both the miner and his companion. The cowboy on vacation statue near Clear Creek pays homage to the connection with nature and the abundant life in and around the creek. Then there is the bridge. Kudos to whomever decided to design a comfortable resting spot for travelers. I could spend hours sipping a cool beverage and watching the water flow downstream. During Buffalo Bill Days, it was the perfect location to witness hundreds of little yellow rubber duckies float by.
The walking foot trail under the bridge was too much to resist. It beckoned to me. I walked along that trail and delighted in the wondrous creations that weren't there three years ago. The huge fish, in my opinion, second only to the butterflies. As always, the benches aligned the trail are a welcome sight. It makes it easier for a visitor to just sit and smell the roses, well, more accurately, to sit and watch the world go by. I find it refreshing to watch the water and all those who find enjoyment in the creek. The kayaks are always fascinating to watch and happiness can be found in watching a dogs leap into the water having just as much super fun-time as it can stand.
The fire that destroyed part of the Buffalo Rose clearly had a beneficial impact in the downtown area. The beer garden is definitely the silver lining behind the cloud of smoke. Seeing the office/retail spaces filling up in the new buildings across the street from the downtown post office is refreshing. The western town of yester-year is vibrant and alive with modern day amenities and new construction, which blends well with the older buildings. To the casual observer, the growth and development of Golden has been carefully thought out and planned making it an even more desirable place to live. My return to my accepted home town of Golden, Colorado, was cut short by the demands of the United States Army. Now I am only a state away rather than a continent and look forward to my next visit. I can only imagine what tremendous ideas will have come to fruition.
Kelly Hanson
Part time Golden Resident.....
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