Today is my last night in Germany. Tomorrow afternoon, I will fly across the pond and return to the United States of America. It's been a long three years, but a good three years. I've made many wonderful friends.
Being a member of the military community, I know that sooner or later our paths will cross again. Inasmuch, I don't say "good-bye". Good-bye is much to permanent. Instead, I'll say, "See you later."
Samantha, thanks so much for the use of your truck. Can you imagine how I would get three dog crates, three suitcases, two carry-on bags, my son, my husband and I into the MINI? It just wouldn't work. Three grocery bags fill up the "trunk" space.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
That's Not Natural --- Oak Express
A week ago, I embarked on an unusual adventure. I drove almost two hours to pick up my husband's ex-wife at the airport. I had no anxiety about the situation right up to the point where the arrivals board indicated her flight had landed. For the twenty minutes it took her to clear customs, I began to get that queasy feeling in my stomach and I started asking myself, "What am I doing?"
When she appeared with her suitcase in tow, I wasn't sure how to act. Do I give her a hug or do I simply say, Welcome? What to do? What to do? I went with the hug. And at that moment, things were fine.
During the trip back to the house, she and I became friends. Over the course of the week, we laughed, chatted, shopped, drank and ate together. Onlookers would never suspect that we were the ex-wife and new wife.
We spent the better part of one day just sitting on the couch talking. We talked and talked and talked. We talked about old times, current times, and future times. Then, I broke out the old family photographs of when she was still the wife and the children (our son turns 18 today) were little kids. Lots of baby pictures and early childhood pictures. There were even a few pre-children pictures. When a photograph of my husband's "Love Machine" surfaced, she mentioned that the back seat was where she lost her virginity. Hmmmm, a little detail that I had not been privy to. We laughed at silly pictures and talked about old friends of hers which are new friends of mine.
Another day, and I showed her the scrapbooks I have compiled during my marriage. We laughed and joked and had a grand time. She and I, both being scrapbookers, shared ideas and techniques of memorializing our families' histories.
The big Oak Express moments (That's not natural) came when we were trying to decide what to wear to our son's high school graduation. How many ex-wives and new wives share clothes and try on each other's shoes? In spite of the weirdness of our situation, we had a fabulous time.
My husband, understandably, felt awkward. I had to remind him that early in our relationship, he had expressed interest in achieving a cordial relationship with her and her new family (three years ago, there was NO CHANCE of that EVER happening) and perhaps being able to enjoy a meal together. He said there was a big difference between having a Bar-B-Q and being able to leave after a couple hours and having his ex-wife stay a week in our home. I guess he's right.
Initially, I told the most wonderful man in the world that I might feel uncomfortable if I were to go to bed and he remained in the living room with Erin (his ex-wife). He respected that. After a day or so, any hint of anxiety on my part had vanished. She is in as much love with her husband as I am with mine. That and she told me that I am able to give something to my husband that she never could. After looking at pictures, she said," He looks happier with you than he ever did with me." Isn't that so nice?
At one point, I asked Erin how she felt about the situation. We agreed that a year ago, this past week would not have been able to happen. It took her marrying a man with two children for her to understand what it's like rearing someone else's children. Later, over a quiet lunch, she and I had a moment of truth. I told her of a particular event that really got under my skin and she acknowledged that it was inappropriate and apologized.
And then, she said the most wonderful thing. The reason for her visit was to witness our son's high school graduation, but I made her trip.
Frankly, I was sad to see her go.
When she appeared with her suitcase in tow, I wasn't sure how to act. Do I give her a hug or do I simply say, Welcome? What to do? What to do? I went with the hug. And at that moment, things were fine.
During the trip back to the house, she and I became friends. Over the course of the week, we laughed, chatted, shopped, drank and ate together. Onlookers would never suspect that we were the ex-wife and new wife.
We spent the better part of one day just sitting on the couch talking. We talked and talked and talked. We talked about old times, current times, and future times. Then, I broke out the old family photographs of when she was still the wife and the children (our son turns 18 today) were little kids. Lots of baby pictures and early childhood pictures. There were even a few pre-children pictures. When a photograph of my husband's "Love Machine" surfaced, she mentioned that the back seat was where she lost her virginity. Hmmmm, a little detail that I had not been privy to. We laughed at silly pictures and talked about old friends of hers which are new friends of mine.
Another day, and I showed her the scrapbooks I have compiled during my marriage. We laughed and joked and had a grand time. She and I, both being scrapbookers, shared ideas and techniques of memorializing our families' histories.
The big Oak Express moments (That's not natural) came when we were trying to decide what to wear to our son's high school graduation. How many ex-wives and new wives share clothes and try on each other's shoes? In spite of the weirdness of our situation, we had a fabulous time.
My husband, understandably, felt awkward. I had to remind him that early in our relationship, he had expressed interest in achieving a cordial relationship with her and her new family (three years ago, there was NO CHANCE of that EVER happening) and perhaps being able to enjoy a meal together. He said there was a big difference between having a Bar-B-Q and being able to leave after a couple hours and having his ex-wife stay a week in our home. I guess he's right.
Initially, I told the most wonderful man in the world that I might feel uncomfortable if I were to go to bed and he remained in the living room with Erin (his ex-wife). He respected that. After a day or so, any hint of anxiety on my part had vanished. She is in as much love with her husband as I am with mine. That and she told me that I am able to give something to my husband that she never could. After looking at pictures, she said," He looks happier with you than he ever did with me." Isn't that so nice?
At one point, I asked Erin how she felt about the situation. We agreed that a year ago, this past week would not have been able to happen. It took her marrying a man with two children for her to understand what it's like rearing someone else's children. Later, over a quiet lunch, she and I had a moment of truth. I told her of a particular event that really got under my skin and she acknowledged that it was inappropriate and apologized.
And then, she said the most wonderful thing. The reason for her visit was to witness our son's high school graduation, but I made her trip.
Frankly, I was sad to see her go.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Way too early in the morning for my own good.
Sometimes my mind wonders. One thought leads to another then to another and then the next thing I know, I'm wide awake at 4 o'clock in the morning wondering why I can't sleep.
I realize it has been several days since I updated my blog with new and improved adventures, but here's the thing: online journals get read by others. It's one thing to ramble on and on in a private journal and a completely different thing to put those same thoughts on the internet. If I were to have a beef with a friend and wanted to write about how much she got under my skin and then have her read about it just isn't productive. I know my friends and family read my blog. Sometimes private thoughts are private. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. --There, that's my explanation for my absence.
Of course, there's always the very personal and intimate items that, quite frankly, are nobody's business. Suppose I was afflicted with a particular ailment that I wanted to write about, complain about and basically emotionally purge from my mind, but didn't want my friends and family to necessarily know about. If I were to have an incredibly painful zit on my butt which generated irritability because I can't sit without a sharp jab in the gluts, my friends just don't need to know about that. Afterall, I have an image to uphold. I can't have folks knowing about the colony of fleas residing in my carpets or the seeping lesions festering on my backside. Okay, for those of you raising eyebrows right about now, these are merely examples to illustrate my dilemma.
On the other hand, some days are simply uneventful. One day blends into the next and before you know it, two weeks have gone by. There just haven't been that many adventures in my life as of late. But, as the end of our three year tour in Germany comes to a close and I add task after task to the list of things to do, tiny pop quiz adventures are becoming more frequent.
Like trying to purchase a house online. That's been an experience and not one I can recommend. I would suggest actually going to the properties and seeing them first hand. The process of elimination, I suspect, would be less complicated. The added factor of being 7 hours ahead of the realtor doesn't benefit the situation. After browsing through the assortment of online photographs and emailed questions and answers, another buyer has beaten us to the contract negotiations. The stress is starting to get to me. We are now down to choosing between a house that isn't finished being built (and won't be for several weeks after we need to take up residence) or a beautiful house, which shares a property line with a cemetery. Frankly, being the Halloween enthusiast that I am, I have no issue with the neighbors. I suspect they're quite and tend not to partake in hosting the social gathering of the year, although.... folks would by dying to visit.
So, in the next 3 weeks, I have extended family coming to visit, a son graduating from high school, an ex-wife is coming for the graduation, the necessary sorting of household baggage and hold baggage, the tossing out of the unneeded and unwanted stuff that has been collected over the last three years, the purchasing of a home, the packing and shipping, the journey to the United States with three dogs, and all the other millions of things that will pop up. Phew....
I realize it has been several days since I updated my blog with new and improved adventures, but here's the thing: online journals get read by others. It's one thing to ramble on and on in a private journal and a completely different thing to put those same thoughts on the internet. If I were to have a beef with a friend and wanted to write about how much she got under my skin and then have her read about it just isn't productive. I know my friends and family read my blog. Sometimes private thoughts are private. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. --There, that's my explanation for my absence.
Of course, there's always the very personal and intimate items that, quite frankly, are nobody's business. Suppose I was afflicted with a particular ailment that I wanted to write about, complain about and basically emotionally purge from my mind, but didn't want my friends and family to necessarily know about. If I were to have an incredibly painful zit on my butt which generated irritability because I can't sit without a sharp jab in the gluts, my friends just don't need to know about that. Afterall, I have an image to uphold. I can't have folks knowing about the colony of fleas residing in my carpets or the seeping lesions festering on my backside. Okay, for those of you raising eyebrows right about now, these are merely examples to illustrate my dilemma.
On the other hand, some days are simply uneventful. One day blends into the next and before you know it, two weeks have gone by. There just haven't been that many adventures in my life as of late. But, as the end of our three year tour in Germany comes to a close and I add task after task to the list of things to do, tiny pop quiz adventures are becoming more frequent.
Like trying to purchase a house online. That's been an experience and not one I can recommend. I would suggest actually going to the properties and seeing them first hand. The process of elimination, I suspect, would be less complicated. The added factor of being 7 hours ahead of the realtor doesn't benefit the situation. After browsing through the assortment of online photographs and emailed questions and answers, another buyer has beaten us to the contract negotiations. The stress is starting to get to me. We are now down to choosing between a house that isn't finished being built (and won't be for several weeks after we need to take up residence) or a beautiful house, which shares a property line with a cemetery. Frankly, being the Halloween enthusiast that I am, I have no issue with the neighbors. I suspect they're quite and tend not to partake in hosting the social gathering of the year, although.... folks would by dying to visit.
So, in the next 3 weeks, I have extended family coming to visit, a son graduating from high school, an ex-wife is coming for the graduation, the necessary sorting of household baggage and hold baggage, the tossing out of the unneeded and unwanted stuff that has been collected over the last three years, the purchasing of a home, the packing and shipping, the journey to the United States with three dogs, and all the other millions of things that will pop up. Phew....
Monday, May 16, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
