Today is my last night in Germany. Tomorrow afternoon, I will fly across the pond and return to the United States of America. It's been a long three years, but a good three years. I've made many wonderful friends.
Being a member of the military community, I know that sooner or later our paths will cross again. Inasmuch, I don't say "good-bye". Good-bye is much to permanent. Instead, I'll say, "See you later."
Samantha, thanks so much for the use of your truck. Can you imagine how I would get three dog crates, three suitcases, two carry-on bags, my son, my husband and I into the MINI? It just wouldn't work. Three grocery bags fill up the "trunk" space.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
That's Not Natural --- Oak Express
A week ago, I embarked on an unusual adventure. I drove almost two hours to pick up my husband's ex-wife at the airport. I had no anxiety about the situation right up to the point where the arrivals board indicated her flight had landed. For the twenty minutes it took her to clear customs, I began to get that queasy feeling in my stomach and I started asking myself, "What am I doing?"
When she appeared with her suitcase in tow, I wasn't sure how to act. Do I give her a hug or do I simply say, Welcome? What to do? What to do? I went with the hug. And at that moment, things were fine.
During the trip back to the house, she and I became friends. Over the course of the week, we laughed, chatted, shopped, drank and ate together. Onlookers would never suspect that we were the ex-wife and new wife.
We spent the better part of one day just sitting on the couch talking. We talked and talked and talked. We talked about old times, current times, and future times. Then, I broke out the old family photographs of when she was still the wife and the children (our son turns 18 today) were little kids. Lots of baby pictures and early childhood pictures. There were even a few pre-children pictures. When a photograph of my husband's "Love Machine" surfaced, she mentioned that the back seat was where she lost her virginity. Hmmmm, a little detail that I had not been privy to. We laughed at silly pictures and talked about old friends of hers which are new friends of mine.
Another day, and I showed her the scrapbooks I have compiled during my marriage. We laughed and joked and had a grand time. She and I, both being scrapbookers, shared ideas and techniques of memorializing our families' histories.
The big Oak Express moments (That's not natural) came when we were trying to decide what to wear to our son's high school graduation. How many ex-wives and new wives share clothes and try on each other's shoes? In spite of the weirdness of our situation, we had a fabulous time.
My husband, understandably, felt awkward. I had to remind him that early in our relationship, he had expressed interest in achieving a cordial relationship with her and her new family (three years ago, there was NO CHANCE of that EVER happening) and perhaps being able to enjoy a meal together. He said there was a big difference between having a Bar-B-Q and being able to leave after a couple hours and having his ex-wife stay a week in our home. I guess he's right.
Initially, I told the most wonderful man in the world that I might feel uncomfortable if I were to go to bed and he remained in the living room with Erin (his ex-wife). He respected that. After a day or so, any hint of anxiety on my part had vanished. She is in as much love with her husband as I am with mine. That and she told me that I am able to give something to my husband that she never could. After looking at pictures, she said," He looks happier with you than he ever did with me." Isn't that so nice?
At one point, I asked Erin how she felt about the situation. We agreed that a year ago, this past week would not have been able to happen. It took her marrying a man with two children for her to understand what it's like rearing someone else's children. Later, over a quiet lunch, she and I had a moment of truth. I told her of a particular event that really got under my skin and she acknowledged that it was inappropriate and apologized.
And then, she said the most wonderful thing. The reason for her visit was to witness our son's high school graduation, but I made her trip.
Frankly, I was sad to see her go.
When she appeared with her suitcase in tow, I wasn't sure how to act. Do I give her a hug or do I simply say, Welcome? What to do? What to do? I went with the hug. And at that moment, things were fine.
During the trip back to the house, she and I became friends. Over the course of the week, we laughed, chatted, shopped, drank and ate together. Onlookers would never suspect that we were the ex-wife and new wife.
We spent the better part of one day just sitting on the couch talking. We talked and talked and talked. We talked about old times, current times, and future times. Then, I broke out the old family photographs of when she was still the wife and the children (our son turns 18 today) were little kids. Lots of baby pictures and early childhood pictures. There were even a few pre-children pictures. When a photograph of my husband's "Love Machine" surfaced, she mentioned that the back seat was where she lost her virginity. Hmmmm, a little detail that I had not been privy to. We laughed at silly pictures and talked about old friends of hers which are new friends of mine.
Another day, and I showed her the scrapbooks I have compiled during my marriage. We laughed and joked and had a grand time. She and I, both being scrapbookers, shared ideas and techniques of memorializing our families' histories.
The big Oak Express moments (That's not natural) came when we were trying to decide what to wear to our son's high school graduation. How many ex-wives and new wives share clothes and try on each other's shoes? In spite of the weirdness of our situation, we had a fabulous time.
My husband, understandably, felt awkward. I had to remind him that early in our relationship, he had expressed interest in achieving a cordial relationship with her and her new family (three years ago, there was NO CHANCE of that EVER happening) and perhaps being able to enjoy a meal together. He said there was a big difference between having a Bar-B-Q and being able to leave after a couple hours and having his ex-wife stay a week in our home. I guess he's right.
Initially, I told the most wonderful man in the world that I might feel uncomfortable if I were to go to bed and he remained in the living room with Erin (his ex-wife). He respected that. After a day or so, any hint of anxiety on my part had vanished. She is in as much love with her husband as I am with mine. That and she told me that I am able to give something to my husband that she never could. After looking at pictures, she said," He looks happier with you than he ever did with me." Isn't that so nice?
At one point, I asked Erin how she felt about the situation. We agreed that a year ago, this past week would not have been able to happen. It took her marrying a man with two children for her to understand what it's like rearing someone else's children. Later, over a quiet lunch, she and I had a moment of truth. I told her of a particular event that really got under my skin and she acknowledged that it was inappropriate and apologized.
And then, she said the most wonderful thing. The reason for her visit was to witness our son's high school graduation, but I made her trip.
Frankly, I was sad to see her go.
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